‘She’s at a hard age': Grandma provides free childcare for grandkids but entitled daughter flips when she asks for a break, internet assures her she's an amazing grandmother

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  • 01
    "I just wanted to be grandma again and not the person always saying no!"
  • 02
    Told my daughter I couldn't babysit as much and she flipped out on me I've been watching my granddaughter since she was born, she's 13 months now, but would take her every Sunday and Monday so my daughter and SIL could get a good nights sleep for their work week. It's been great until now.
  • 03
    She's at a hard age where she's into everything, and I live in a small trailer where I can only child proof so much, I have no where to go with anything. She also doesn't know what no means yet so I find myself hovering over her trying to protect her. She goes for anything not nailed down out of curiosity I know but still I worry
  • 04
    I told my daughter I needed a break, my anxiety is through the roof and I feel like such a failure right now. She flipped out on me and said a lot of choice words to me, I cried my eyes out and feel terrible. Now my daughter isn't speaking to me over it. I tried to explain to her I just wanted to be grandma again and not the person always saying no.
  • 05
    Am I wrong to just want to enjoy her now? It's been so long since my daughter was so small, and I don't remember how I got through it all back then but she turned out fine. Do I start taking her again and screw my anxiousness? They put me on hydroxazine for my nerves but it's not doing much. I'm just a wreck and feel like a terrible person.
  • 06
    weedwench33 • 2d ago Put your own oxygen mask on first, Grandma. Your daughter should be more concerned with your health than whether she has free babysitting. You aren't a sitter that they need(for getting to work) you give them a very generous length of time to relax before the work week.
  • 07
    But now you're burnt out. You're stressed. Do. Not. Feel. Guilty!! Do not! You have nothing to feel bad about. You are helping when you can and now you can't as much. That is normal and okay! Your daughter isn't acting very grateful about any of it.
  • 08
    However, I bet if you hold strong, she will come back in a New York minute begging you to help again. This silent treatment is a manipulation tactic meant to make you Don't let it work. feel You can't be a responsible care-taker if you aren't at your best. So put yourself first and tell your daughter to kick rocks and take care of her own kid for awhile.
  • 09
    DorothyParkerFan • 2d ago So they can't handle 1 toddler between the 2 of them and are angry that you're struggling with a 1:1 ratio?
  • 10
    . Smile_Miserable 2d ago My mom helps me out 3x a week. If she ever decided she needed a break I would never hold it against her. She already has done so much for me. Im sorry your daughter is treating you like that you don't deserve it.
  • 11
    . throwingutah 2d ago Your daughter is being hella entitled. I assume they haven't been paying you for childcare.
  • 12
    Average Annie45 . 2d ago I am amazed at your generosity. I'm sorry your daughter lashed out at you, but you haven't done anything wrong. You should prioritize yourself so that you can provide support in a capacity you are comfortable with. Would your daughter go to therapy with you? Just to have a conversation with a mediator? Sincerely, a single parent that never had an hour of free help.
  • 13
    sausagepartay • 2d ago An entire weekend at grandmas is one thing when they can talk, use the potty, follow directions etc. But young toddlers are exhasting. 2 days in a row is a LOT and your daughter is being unreasonable/entitled. I'm sure there will be a time when she's older and you look forward to your grandbaby coming over to bake cookies, do a craft and watch a movie. At this point thought it doesn't sound enjoyable for you or your grandbaby. You are doing the right thing by setting bound
  • 14
    CatsRock25 • 2d ago I'm a grandma. This is HER baby. Not yours. As a grandparent I babysit frequently but on my terms. When I want and for as long as i want. Emergencies are different. I would not say no if it was a crisis. I do babysit on vacation but again it is with mutual consent. My daughter is grateful and would never feel entitled. Your daughter is angry at the wrong person. It sounds like she doesn't really want to be a parent
  • 15
    decent_dahlia_ • 2d ago • First time mom who works full time hours here. My mom will watch my child for us every so often for us to go to weddings or a date night here or there. She will sometimes come for a few hours to entertain him while I get stuff done. But I don't have her do overnights for when I work. I do remember my grandparents watching me and my siblings for my parents when we were young. I think that it does take a village to raise a child, and all help is appreciated. I still would
  • 16
    You seem like you do so much to help. And you just need a break for your mental health. So valid. The way your daughter handled that is not ok. She may be projecting her own stress with work life balance onto you & overwhelmed. I will say, I am so very tired with getting little to no sleep on my work days. But I've just accepted it as a part of my life for now.
  • 17
    Maybe she is acting this way because she has been used to getting the help & sleep, so it will be a big change for her? Regardless, she did not handle that well at all.
  • 18
    CartoonistConsistent 2d ago • Your daughter sounds like a parent who doesn't really want to be a parent, wants a kid but doesn't want to change their lifestyle because of a kid. One of my nieces does this and it blows my mind, her little one isn't even one and she's out almost every weekend. When I had my little one out first night out was at about 18 month. We had help from both our parents but it's agreed and not overly often as they have a life too!
  • 19
    Long Beachcitygal • 2d ago This makes me sad. You sound like such an incredible grandmother and you are so selfless. My mother watches my 7 month old once a week for maybe 6 hours and I pay her or get her gifts or minimum I get her food when I drop off my son. I hope your daughter realizes how lucky she is to have you in her life to support. Being a mom is incredibly tough. I wish my mom watched my son and kept him over night. You are an angel. She will come around
  • 20
    dragonfly325 • 2d ago You have every right to decide how and when you will provide free childcare. Your daughter should be grateful. My husband and I went 3 years without so much as a date night because of no childcare.
  • 21
    QueenClone Bone . 2d ago Lol I'm lucky to get my parents to watch my daughter for 3 hours if I give them 2+ weeks' notice. You're going above and beyond and it's perfectly fine to draw a line and say you need a break. It's not like your daughter won't be able to go to work and feed her family without your help. Don't give in to her manipulation, stand your ground that you need to cut the hours back.

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